Hearing that you have a diagnosis of cancer can be a devastating experience. It will be wonderful when we can eliminate cancer from our lives so that we will not have to experience all that goes with it, including this terrible devastation. Although we are working to eradicate cancer, its final destruction is somewhere on the horizon. For now, we still have to deal with it.

How we cope with our own cancer is totally up to us as individuals. Certainly, having cancer is very frightening. But, fear can lower your tolerance to pain and leave you feeling alone and helpless, compounding the diagnosis.

The first thing you can do to deal with a report of cancer is to acknowledge your feelings - whatever they may be - and recognize that these feelings are normal. It will not help to ignore these emotions. Denying this reality will only keep you from moving forward. Give yourself time to express what you are feeling; however, try not to panic!

Panicking means your thought-process has jumped to the worst possible conclusion. You’re already thinking, “I’m going to die!” This may not be true. By panicking, or “awfulizing,” you project your fears into the future. Try to remain in the present. Remember that cancer is a word, not a (death) sentence. “Awfulizing” is unhealthy and will only get in the way of rational and positive action.

Instead, use your energy to gather your thoughts and consider what you have been told. This could take some time, maybe a few days or even a week. You need to be able to make clear decisions about yourself, your healthcare team and your treatment. In order to do this, you need to stay in control. Granted, this is more easily said than done, but you deserve this chance to develop a plan. Give yourself permission to take it!

When you are ready, move on with positive action! Start by making a list of things that are keeping you from having control over your life, i.e., office visits, tests, treatments. Next, make a list of the things you can do to regain control of your life, such as taking yoga or meditation classes. Then, make a third list detailing the benefits of taking back control in your life - you might feel better emotionally, have less stress, feel more fulfilled or could improve the quality of your life. Reviewing these lists will help you stay focused, and less panicked.

Doing research on your particular diagnosis is another way to avoid feelings of helplessness. No matter how dedicated your doctor may be, they cannot possibly keep up with all the new and promising developments for cancer and its treatment. By investigating your own disease, you might find a treatment your doctor is unfamiliar with, or an expert on your disease that could save your life. Understanding your medical treatment can help you make more informed decisions. Don’t forget to ask family and friends to help you search for information!

Research has shown that people who take an active role in their treatment feel better and have better success rates. Exercise and proper nutrition (things you have control over) have measurable effects on the common side effects of cancer treatment. Joining a support group (something you can do for yourself) can help you feel connected, raise your spirits and improve your coping skills.

Remember that fear does not support healing on any level. You have the power to overcome the fear and panic associated with a cancer diagnosis. By taking control of your life as best you can, you can build confidence to face frightening challenges, reach out to others in similar situations and feel hopeful instead of hopeless. Don’t let the fear of having cancer paralyze you and take control of your life!